Love at Home.

It is an old adage that “union is strength” and a very true one. An old Scythian King who had many sons, on his deathbed called them around him. Some of the sons suggested to him the propriety of dividing his dominions among them. The King took a bundle of arrows and gave them to his sons, saying, “Break that bundle of arrows.” They passed the arrows round and all tried to break them as the old man lay upon his deathbed, and they could not. He then said, “now untie them and break them,” which was easily done. He then said to his sons, “If you are all united as one man, you can never be overpowered or destroyed, but if you divide, you will be easily conquered.”

A wise king—more importantly, a wise father. I would like to submit that it is love that binds us together as an eternal family and being thus united we can not be overpowered or destroyed.

The following thoughts have been heavily influence by C.S Lewis' excellent book, “The Four Loves.” They are just my thoughts and feelings, beginning with the idea of four different types of loves coupled with my own beliefs and current situation. I hope these loves can help unite my little family and help us reach out to our global family.

The first love is the love for our Father in Heaven and for his son Jesus Christ. As we develop a special relationship with Heavenly Father we discover many things about ourselves that are crucial to having a happy, healthy future family. His glorious gospel provides answers to life’s greatest questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where does my spirit go when I die?” Through the spirit we develop our divine countenance and our confidence will grow. We will know who we are; we will know where we are going; we will know how to get there. This world is full of very confusing directions. It is so easy to get lost. Confused. Angry. Sad. This is why our love for Christ is so important. He is our beacon. He is the ultimate example of selfless, unconditional love.

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) Richard D. Draper expounds on this love by reminding us that Christ’s “very life is a revelation of the love of the Father for each of us.” He says that the Savior manifested that same love during his ministry in three ways: "through service, by suppressing His divine powers so that He could experience mortality fully, and by submitting Himself into the hands of wicked men. The sinless one would Himself suffer because of His persecutors’ sins and would suffer as an offering for all sins out of love for God and His children."

If we try to pattern our love for others after the Savior's love for us we will feel more deeply devoted to our loved ones; we will experience more exquisite joy, our lives will have more meaning, and our happiness will be eternal. If we love Him, we will keep his commandments. We will not be overpowered by the world. We will not feel threatened by other's beliefs. We will be tolerant and respectful. We will be united by our faith and desire to do good. As we obey his commandments we will attract those who also have a desire to keep His commandments.

Which leads me to the next love. This next love is Lamour—romantic love. It is a wonderful part of Heavenly Father’s plan. Elder Boyd K. Packer states:

“Marriage is eternal; family life is sacred; the falling in love of a young man and a young woman is the prelude to love, and staying in love is the vitality, the very breath and life of marriage. Everyone hopes to experience romantic love. Rightly, it is not only a part of life, but literally a dominating influence of it. It is deeply and significantly religious. There is no abundant life without it.”

One of the many things that first attracted me to Jeremy was his family. I was so impressed with their unity. Jeremy is the youngest of eight children. His mother and father have been married for 53 years. I know they have been through their fair share of struggles and yet every single one of Bud and Miriam children are good, good people. Bud and Miriam currently have 39 grandchildren. Many of those grandchildren have served missions, are serving missions and are getting married and having children of their own. They have 13 great-grandchildren and are expecting 2 more this year.

And so the cycle goes. This all came from the love of two people and their love for Heavenly Father. Two people—working hard together, comforting each other, sacrificing for each other, lifting one another up. I am so grateful for their example, the example of my good parents and the legacy of love they have left Jeremy and I and our family. As we stand caring and committed beside our companion, we place a firm foundation of love in our family.

I would like to add one more thought to this 2nd love. It is from Hugh B. Brown’s book You and Your Marriage:
"True affection in marriage, which is a thing of spirit as well as body, will outlast the honeymoon and grow more beautiful with time, for it is intended to be eternal. The real glory of the married state in this life should reach its climax as the curtain falls on life’s second act. (An intermediate ‘finis’ called Death) And then, after a brief intermission to allow one or the other of the actors to ‘change his costume’ they will meet and continue on the eternal stage where there will be no curtain."

The third love is the one that parents have for their children and children have for their parents. I don’t have to explain to the parents reading this how a mother and father feel toward their children. And I think they understand that I could not possibly find words to describe this feeling. If there is any part of Heavenly Father’s plan designed to help us know—just how much he loves us—becoming a parent is it. In this life we get little glimpses of Heaven. I believe I received one as I knelt across the alter in the temple from my dear and wonderful husband. Again, the veil became very thin as we brought our children into the world. I have etched in my mind the first little cry, the way they first looked at me, the way they first felt in my arms. I can not convey the emotional and physical bond a mother has to her children…but I now know a little of what Heavenly Father goes through every time I do something wrong…or do something right.

My children are growing and I love watching them develop. But I sometimes find myself struggling to show them this love when they are not being perfect angels. I wonder sometimes—what I will do when the issues are more soul threatening. As I look to the scriptures I find examples of wonderful parents who love their children and yet the children still have their agency. Sometimes an act so small, but born completely out of love can be life changing. Smiling, instead of yelling, when milk is spilled. Holding, instead of pushing away, a crying child. Praying to love. It's not easy, but I have to believe those small acts make a difference.

Finally, the fourth love can be found through out the scriptures but specifically in Matthew 22. “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Second only to the first and great commandment. Imagine if you loved the lady who is constantly critical of your lawn as you loved yourself. Or the strange neighbors and their strange music. I'll be honest, sometimes it is hard for me to put others in the same love catagory that I put myself in. But imagine how much better the world would be if everyone did this. I am going to try much harder to keep this commandment.

Love has been the subject of every possible medium, ever since the dawn of time. Love means different things to different people. Love that is kind, selfless and humble is the enduring legacy. Uniting neighbors, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, children and ultimately generations. Ancestors and posterity. In this life and beyond.