Ketchup

As in "catch up." As in I'm so very far behind.

I'm going to write very fast, because it is late and I need to go to the gym tomorrow. And while we're on the subject, I'm really tired of being the lone chub. And I'm not just saying this because it's a new year and I ate way to much over the holidays (past and present).
Ok, maybe I am.
Look, I'm not looking to be a size 4 or 6. I'm comfortable will a little softness. I need it, because, well lets just say my husband has none, and it helps with the hugging and such. But the softness has turned into pillowieness, uncomfortableness, higher blood pressure - greater at risk for other diseases-ness. I am repenting. I feel like the lone chub.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.

School. I've been meaning to write so much about our experience with "traditional" school this year. I could go on at great length of all the pros and cons. Great. length.
However, when I really stop to think about it, I can sum it all up pretty concisely:
***no, apparently I can't because I keep going back to add or change things in this list.**
+Sometimes I like them being in school.
- Sometimes I shake my head in worry.
+I really like all their teachers.
+Their job is just huge and I respect them immensely.
- I do NOT like the bureaucracy associated with certain programs.
+I smile when I see my kids playing with lots of other children from lots of different backgrounds.
- I cry a little when I hear of one of those children being mean to one of mine.
- I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Saxon math.
+ I can't help but feel proud when they get good grades (even though the whole thing goes against my core beliefs)
+I do feel like I can connect with the other moms in my ward and neighborhood more. Which I like.
- I miss connecting with other homeschool moms.
- I miss planning lessons and field trips. I thought I would do more of this still, but I don't.
- I miss having my kids around me all day.
+ I have enjoyed being involved in all my children's classes.
- I have also not enjoyed it sometimes.
- I have made up my mind to homeschool again next year.
+ And then I have changed it.

Some things I have learned that I would like to pass on:
*If we do homeschool again, I will NOT be so paranoid about my children's academics. I should have had more confidence in their own ability to learn. Plus, it's incredible how little time actually goes into academics during a "traditional" school day. Maybe 2 or 3 hours of actual intellectual connection being made. And there are whole days where it's nothing but a party. Still, so much of the traditional education comes in the form of being able to meet deadlines, being respectful to teachers, getting along with others, etc. I understand this and appreciate its importance. But really, all of that can be done at home with a diligent homeschool curriculum, extra curricular activities and a good homeschool network.

*To be a successful mother and teacher, you must remember to take care of yourself. It's so easy to neglect yourself and be so focused on your children, but you can only do that for so long before you start to run ragged and then burn out. Balance, balance, moderation and balance.

*If you have been homeschooling and then decide to go back to traditional school, get to know the teachers really well, and give them your respect and gratitude. After all, you know how hard their job is. Be patient, as it may take them a while to realize that you are on their side. Be enthusiastic and show them that you find as much joy in your children's education and they do (or should).

*Your children will thrive when you give them lots of attention and love no matter where they are. The question is, what situation will best allow for this, for each particular child and for your particular circumstance? Don't be a follower in this. You have to really study and ponder the decision. Talk it over with your spouse and make sure you are on the same page. If your children are old enough, include them in the discussion. If they are not, don't. It will only confuse them.

*I think it is wise to commit to an educational plan for at least a year. You may go back and forth, have good days and bad days, where you are tempted to pull up the stakes, but knowing you've made a commitment will help you get through and make it to the next good day.

*Volunteer! Be in the classroom and get to know the kids in your kids' classes. Plus, teachers just love help. They will even let you bring in your 3 year old, as long as she is not disruptive, which sometimes is the case.

All your schmoozing will come in handy when you tell your kids' teachers that your children will be missing a week of school to go to Hawaii.

Which is where Sam and Elise are right now.

My mom and dad surprised them with an extra special Christmas present this year.

I hope I can make it. I miss them so much and it hasn't even been a day. But I'm really excited for them. I called them when they landed (yes, you read that right. I tracked their flight and called them when they landed. Issues, remember?) and Sam said,
"Mom it was the most amazing thing! It was incredible! When we broke through the clouds, the sun was setting and the sky was red. The mountains were this beautiful green and the water was so blue."

Sigh....

I'm going to the gym tomorrow.

Sieben, baby.

My dear blogging friend, Michal, tagged me for this sevenlicious meme. I have been on a bloggy roll this week. I think I've done a post every day. Just in case you wanted to know more about me, here you go:

Seven things to do before I die:
1. Play the violin well. (Not, like, first chair or anything. I'd like to play some good fiddling music)
2. Go on a full time mission with my husband.
3. Finish one of the 100 books I've started and submit it for publication.
4. Run a marathon.
5. Learn French, German and Finnish well enough to get around in those countries.
6. Travel as much of the world as I can.
7. Become an avid genealogist. I want to learn as much about my ancestors as possible.

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Do the splits.
2. Keep my house clean for more than a day.
3. Leisurely read a book. I have to finish it (pretty much all genres) as soon as I can.
4. Go hours at home without checking my email.
5. Give up sugar.
6. Get 15 degrees and 5 masters. I'd really like to do this, but can't.
7. Stay mad at someone for more than a day. I just can't do it.


Seven things that attracted me to my husband:
1. His eyes.
2. His subtle crazy streak; passion; liveliness. (I couldn't marry someone without these qualities)
3. His artistic talent.
4. The way he loved me first.
5. His strength of character.
6. His big happy family.
7. His taste in movies.


Seven things I say most often:
1. "I love you."
2. "Hang on a minute."
3. "Be nice."
4. "Done, yet?"
5. "I'm sorry."
6. "Let's go potty!" (We're potty training right now.)
7. "Wow! That's neat!"



Seven Books I love: More here.
1. Jane Eyre
2. Bleak House
3. Atlas Shrugged
4. Persuasion
5. Silas Marner
6. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
7. Lord of the Rings (Return of the King is my favorite)



Seven movies I could watch over and over: (I don't ever recommend watching a movie over and over.)
1. Kung Fu Panda
2. The Sound of Music
3. A&E's Pride and Prudjudice
4. Strictly Ballroom
5. Mostly Martha (the original German version)
6. Fiddler on the Roof
7. Princess Bride

Mécaniques Célestes

On our first date, Jeremy took me to a French film called, "Mécaniques Célestes." It was the beginning of October I think, and the cool, misty, autumn days of Western Washington had chased away the warmer, misty summer days.

The movie won me over for a couple of reasons. First, it was a foreign film. Second, it was about an aspiring opera singer, who flees the wedding alter in Venezuela and flies to France in her wedding gown to realize her dream of singing. (She vies for the lead in "La Cenerentola by Rossini"). Lastly, it was shown in this charming, turn-of-the-century theater in Tacoma.

After the movie we went to Red Robin, ate fries, and talked about keeping it real. Which, of course, was very funny considering I was trying very hard to be "cool" (when he asked what my favorite color was, I told him it was red--the deep red color of blood) and he had just taken me to a French film called "Celestial Clockwork."

Despite the impressive first date, I didn't know if he was my "type." I guess I've always preferred I little bit of a wild streak and I didn't see it at first in this very handsome, well mannered, easy-going guy.

It didn't take long to find that wild streak though. Happily, Jeremy can be almost as crazy as me. And to prove it, we became engaged after just 3 months of dating.

After a brief semester away to appease my parents, and also my conscience, I came back and we planned for a June wedding. Really, the whole June wedding thing wasn't what we were going for. We just wanted to be married and June was the earliest available month. See? Crazy.

And young. We were sooo young. And bright eyed, naive, and absolutely in love.

I knew though, that he would be a good husband and father. He served an honorable mission. He was kind to his parents. He was kind to my parents. He treated me with respect and consideration. He was smart and talented. He made me want to be a better person.

He was that irresistible good guy that every girl wants.

So, June 28, 1997 we were married in the Seattle Temple. The day was a blur of happy faces, camera flashes, white lace and cake. My cheeks were sore for days afterward from all the smiling.

11 years have passed since that happy day. Those 11 years have been filled with so many other happy days and adventures. There have been a few sad days and stressful days. It seems that every time we pass through those days I discover a new definition love.

I marvel and stand in awe of the whole thing. We are two very imperfect and different people. But we are working toward a perfect end. And the love keeps growing and changing. I know that I was very lucky the day that Jeremy came into that little baggage store in the mall and asked for my phone number. I'm sure he didn't have a clue what he was getting himself into.

We do balance each other I think. He makes me a little more sane and I make him a little more crazy.

And that celestial clock keeps ticking away the days and years that I will treasure for eternity.

Crossing the Rubicon

Narmer had Egypt
King Minos had Crete
Shamshi-Adad had the world
For a time.

So did Cyrus, Alexander, Augustus and Caesar
Their conquests and triumphs we
Read and admire.
Many have come with their hopes
And aspire
To greatness and glory and fame.

I felt the 'umph' in triumph today
I conned the quest in conquest.
I crossed the Rubicon,
Half of Provo as well, (not quite)
A better time to claim.

We turned the corner
Our purpose in sight
We ignored the pain
And roared with might!
Forward, onward, victorious flight!
Now 36:02 will be by my name.

New Blog!

I have come to a point where I feel it is necessary to glue the keyboard to my head and fix my eyeballs to a screen forever.

Okay, well, maybe we're not ready to go to that extreme yet, but as if I need another excuse to be on the computer, I've started another blog.

I find myself wanting to say more and write more on topics other than family and homeschool.
GASP!
I know, shocking. So, if you want to find out if I have a life outside of Wonder Years, check out, Magic Beans. It's not much, as my time IS limited (believe it or not) on the computer and my true love is home and family. Wonder Years will not be neglected.

BUT I can love better when I preserve a sense of myself.
Blogging does that for me.
So there.

Ode to the Pavement

Thanks so much ladies! I couldn't have done it with out you.
I'm in a sea of huffing people,
huffing and puffing along.
My heart is pounding,
pounding, pounding
a masochistic song.

The cold wind bites my bright red cheeks.
I won't be able to walk for weeks.
I'm sure my friends think I'm a freak
As I pound away the crazy beat
Of my masochistic song.

The finish line is up head.
I think my legs have turned to lead.
My lungs begin to mutiny
As I'm carried by the huffing sea
And the song of my protesting heart.

In a few steps the song has changed.
"Victory" now is its name.
Triumphantly I can reclaim
My head and lungs and grateful heart.

I've also gained something new
strength, endurance, a T-shirt too,
And bragging rights. I now can say
I wasn't last in today's 5K.

Woo Hoo!

A Quorum of Quick Quirks to Quench your Query, Charity.

Hobbes: Shouldn't we read the instructions?
Calvin: Do I look like a sissy?

1. I can not just suck on hard candy. I always chew it.
2. I have a hard time following directions. (ie. following a sewing pattern or recipe.) I've been known to take twice as long putting a toy together because the instruction were cast aside. For some reason I am compelled to do things my way (usually the hard way).
3. I'm generally a people person, except when I'm not.
4. I typically don't like "trendy" things. I don't know many people that do, but there has to be a reason that they are trendy.
5. I'm attracted to noses that have character.
6. I may be quick tempered, but I can never stay angry very long.
7. I have always had very vivid dreams. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to orient myself in the morning. Did I really lose my teeth? Is my hair really purple? Am I still on an archaeological dig in Alexandria?

Thanks for the tag Charity!

My Better Half

What is your hubby's name? Jeremy, Jerm to me.
How long have you been together? It'll be 11 years in June.
How long did you date? Dated three months, Engaged 6 months.
Who said I love you first? Jeremy.
Who is taller? Jeremy.
Who is smarter? What kind of loaded question is that?
Who does the laundry? I do mostly.
Who does the dishes? I do.
Who sleeps on the right? Depends.
Who pays the bills? Jeremy gets the money to me, I get the money to everyone else.
Who mows the lawn? Right now, our landlord. But Jeremy likes to manicure lawns.
Who cooks dinner? Mostly me. Jeremy likes to cook and he will often make a nice dinner on Sunday and Mother's day.
Who drives when you are together? It's pretty equal.
Who is more stubborn? We are living proof that two very stubborn people can stay happily married . It gets kind of crazy sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Who kissed who first? I don't understand the question.
Who asked who out first? Jeremy asked me out first.
Who proposed? It's hard to say.
Who has more siblings? Jeremy- 8 me- 3.
Who wears the pants? We both have our own set of pants.

Thanks for the tag Poppy!

Politics

A couple of weeks ago I discovered that my husband and I don't agree on which candidate to support for the primaries. I even wonder if (gasp) I might be loosing him to another political party altogether. Love is stronger than political lines right?

Of course right.

It's happened before in our relationship. I've said how I feel about a certain issue and will be stunned when he is not in complete agreement with me. OR, he has colorfully stated how vehemently he is opposed to something and is appalled when I'm like,

eh?

I admire him for his strong opinions, even if they differ from mine occasionally. I could never love a man that didn't have opinions and it makes it all the more appealing if he can defend them. If not for good, sound reasons, at least with heart.

Okay, okay. Most of the time they are good, sound reasons.

I've been so hesitant to publicly support any particular candidate so far. I despise confrontation unless it is to defend something or someone I believe in with all my heart. Perhaps you think this is weakness and cowardice. You're probably right. I also don't fancy being wrong. Who does? Even more than that--I don't want to admit that I'm wrong to the man I love. (A vice that I'm still working on, laid out here for all to behold) If I go down, I want to go down in flames. If I am right, I want to be the one who was right all along.

So, it goes without saying that I have not found solid footing with any of the candidates in my party in this presidential election. Me and the rest of the nation it seems. I am leaning a certain way. I assumed my husband would be leaning that way too. Why did I do that? Because we've been living under the same roof for 10+ years? Have I forgotten that we are, in fact, separate people with individual feelings and opinions? What will I do if we vote for different people and the person I vote for doesn't win? What if the person he votes for wins? What's to become of us?

You know, it's interesting. We've been studying about the the first demos kratos. Do you ever wonder what Cleisthenes would think about our democracy now? It was under his democracy that civilization thrived in Greece. It's interesting and sad to read about the decline of the classical Greece. It's decline is like so many other's that we read about in ancient civilization. War, contentions, power struggle. I think the key to most of any of the decline and ruin of a civilization has been because the infrastructure crumbled. People were not willing to adjust or compromise within. We can see the results.

I'm not saying we can't stand up for what we believe in. Or that we should give in and just let all our morals go out the window. That would be cowardice. I think we just need to remember the big picture. Democracy was founded upon the principle that every one's voice is worth hearing.

Democracy begins at home. This is the infrastructure of our nation.

Is marriage political? You bet.

But it's mostly love.
and friendship
and forgiveness.
and adjustments.
and compromise.

Yes, I will decide for myself who I think will be the best possible candidate for President of our great nation by next month. I expect everyone else to do the same (if you haven't done so already). It is so awesome that I get to vote! Those women who lived in the enlightened time of classical Greece were never able to.

And 50 years from now, I will still be madly in love with my husband and when the election of '08 comes up in conversation we'll be like,

eh?

And the winner is...

CHARITY (Oliver and Company)!
Congrats!


And thanks for all the well wishes. Yep, I'm another year older. But I sure felt special today. :D

(that's chocolate angel food cake with chocolate-raspberry fudge, baby)

101 parts of me.

Oh this is probably so pretentious. This is my 101st post. I've seen others commemorate their 100th post by listing 100 things about themselves. I've really enjoyed reading them. I missed my 100th so, if you've got nothing better to do or if you are having trouble going to sleep, sit back and enjoy crash course 101 of the life of the author of this blog.

1. I am going to turn 31 soon.
2. I'm currently living in the city where I was born.
3. I've lived in 5 other states and 2 other countries in between.
4. I've been in a few musicals.
5. I sang the Finnish national anthem for the Finnish President in his home.
6. I have one sister
7. and two brothers.
8. I am the oldest.
9. I make home made Pizza almost every Friday night.
10. It's pretty good.
11. I have four entertaining children.
12. 1 boy
13. 3 girls
14. I studied Music ed in college.
15 Never got my degree.
16 I do plan on finishing
17. hopefully soon.
18. I am now an aunt to a guy a graduated from high school with.
19. My husband is the youngest of 8 children.
20. We met at a singles ward.
21 Our first date was to a French film called, "Celestial Clockwork"
22. Is he good or what?
23. We were married 8 and a half months later.
24. I was a June bride.
25. Our first baby came 2 years later.
26. Before I was married I had a few odd jobs.
27 I was a life guard in high school.
28. I never saved any one's life.
29. I was a hostess at Sheri's.
30. I was working at a luggage store in the mall when I met Jeremy.
31. He came into the store one day and asked about luggage.
32. He also asked for my phone number.
33. I can be pretty emotional sometimes.
34. I played water polo in high school.
35. And swam on the swim team.
36. I just barely made the team.
37. My best friend was the team captain.
38. I really like sugar.
39. I have for years.
40. My dentist could tell you that.
41. One of the countries I lived in was Germany.
42. I was there when the Berlin wall came down.
43. But now I can't donate blood or plasma.
44. (anyone who lived in Europe during a certain time period can not donated blood)
45. Apparently, they are worried about mad cow disease.
46. I've never really been a potato chip fan.
47. But I LOVE corn chips and homemade salsa.
48. Are you still with me?
49. I like old-fashioned things.
50. I really like to play the piano.
51. I use to be pretty good.
52. That's what I was doing when Jeremy first noticed me.
53. I played the piano for the singles ward.
54. I was too chicken to play the organ at that time.
55. I've never broken a bone.
56. I've never had stitches.
57. Oh, never mind, I have.
58. I like to read.
59. I especially like to read the newspaper in the morning.
60. It's almost a ritual.
61. I also really like to read the scriptures.
62. I HAVE to read the scriptures everyday. Otherwise, I get cranky.
63. I have a temper.
64. I'm currently serving as the nursery leader in our ward.
65. I love hiking in the mountains or canyons.
66. I love coming home to all my modern conveniences.
67. I sometimes wish humans were hibernating creatures.
68. You could pig out in the fall, sleep all winter and wake up skinny in the spring.
69. Come on! Who wouldn't love that?
70. I would love to sail in the Mediterranean Sea someday.
71. I would also love to go back to Europe and explore small cobblestone alleys.
72. I have visited a restaurant in Sweden that has been in operation since the 1600's.
73. It was very cool.
74. I've never been good at taking personality tests.
75. I guess I'm still trying to figure out who I am.
76. I've been called a granola girl.
77. My dad is a genius.
78. No really. He is.
79. He's also a wonderful person and marrying my mom made him not only the smartest
80. but the luckiest guy as well.
81. I also have really great in-laws.
82. Do you know the song, "I'm my own grandpa"?
82. Or "Grandma's Lye-soap"?
83. If you do, then you can be on my list of cool people.
84. I played the clarinet in Jr. High.
85. All roads lead to Rome.
86. I've been there.
87. It was dirty.
88. But the Sistine Chapel was glorious.
89. I have T.P.ed a few houses in my day.
90. I will never ever do it again.
91. I love homeschooling my kids.
92. I'm not the best housekeeper.
93. I'm not the worst either.
94. I like to really get to know people.
95. I think everyone has an interesting story.
96. I'm not really an animal person.
97. I admire them most when they are living in their natural habitat.
98. Or at the zoo.
99. We will only ever have Mac computers. (Thanks to my husband)
100. I have credits from three different colleges and universities.
101. I plan on getting some more.

WOW! You did it. I did it. Thanks for being with me for the ride. I really love blogging. As if this incredibly enlightening reading were not enough, I'm throwing in a fun treat.

Would you like to make a foaming monster? How about rainbows or illustrate why the sky is blue during the day and red when the sun sets? I love this book because it is hands on learning and most of the stuff you already have in your house. My kids have devoured this book.
If you would like to enter to win this giveaway, please leave me a comment with your email where I can reach you to send you this fantastic book. My lovely 3 year old assistant, Claire will choose the lucky winner on the 16th of January in the evening.

You can find this, and other fantastic books at my store: sonjasfunbooks.com
You you can get lots of FREE books by hosting a party. Please email me if you are interested.
sonja@sonjasfunbooks.com

Filling in the cracks.

(photo courtesy of National Geographic Picture of the Day)

This is going to be kinda random. I've been wanting to comment on some of the comments that have been made, and rather than commenting on the comments page I just thought I'd make one big comment here.

Did ya catch all that?

First of all, I like comments. Don't be shy.

Which brings me to...a belated thank you. Thank you for your nice comments. They really do make my day. Seriously, a nice comment makes me smile ALL day. It's sounds a little pathetic, I know, but it's true! I'm sincerely thankful.

Thirdly...I like November. I don't really have a problem with it. Here in Utah, it is not so bleak in November. It is bleak in late January and February, especially if there is no snow. I just like that poem. We are doing variations of that poem in school this week.

Fourth: Oh how nice it is to have routine. My rendition of "Food, Glorious Food" from Oliver goes something like this: "School, glorious school....routine, order and schedules!" We relish our down time...but thrive with routine.

5. Happy Birthday to Christine way over there in Turkey!

Sixth, and lastly, you really should know....I have the very best husband in all the world.

Warning: Way too much information

It's been 2 1/2 years. I was beginning to wonder if it would ever return. But it has. After the birth of my fourth child, I've enjoyed quite a long reprieve from my monthly visitor. And now I feel connected to every woman throughout all the ages. I'm reminded of my inheritance. I think about it every time I read a book with a heroine. I think, "Well I wonder what she did during this time?" Of course I'll never know. Because heroines never seem to have "this time".
I even find security in its return. Don't you find security in something that you can consistently rely on, even if it is not so desirable? Like rain on the Fourth of July in Washington. I have three daughters. Honestly, I'm not really looking forward to sharing this part of womanhood with them. Yeah, yeah...there is beauty in femininity. The creation process is a miracle, I know. I intend to play that up, because it's true. But, come on, you can not deny the fact that this part is not pleasent. Well, I've been reading some interesting things about my dear aunt Flo. On the one hand you have the natural feminists who almost worship the period. On the other, you have those who would do away with the whole mess altogether. I guess I'm sort of in between. Typical.
I'm surprised by the relief I feel right now. I realize that this is a sensitive subject, I did warn you it was probably too much inforamtion, but it is definitely part of who I am. So, here's to all the women who work, despite pain; clean, despite being tired; smile, despite feeling emotional; and take care of others, despite it all.

Smart Habits Saturday:

This week I'm going to tie this fun meme with my smart habits because it's kinda applicable.

*Devise a list of 5-10 courses you would take to fix your life. It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include one class from the person who tagged you that you’d also like to take. Tag five.

(This is the one I that I took from Ice Cream. This is the one I need for developing the SMART habits I want)

Self Restraint 101. From saying the wrong things to spending too much money, [to eating too much] I would really like to be less impulsive. (Jen, I would take this with you. Maybe it would help me keep my foot out of my mouth.)

Time Management Lab 301. I've read the books and listened to great lectures. Now I need someone to walk me through the application process. I guess it sort-of correlates with Self Restraint 101.

Gardening 201. I've taken one class. Read a few books. But I would love to have a really BIG green thumb and enjoy the fruits of my labors.

Herbology 101. I am intrigued by herbs and would like to know more about their healing properties.

Art 101. My eight and six year olds are much better at drawing than me. My husband is so much better at choosing colors. I feel like a big dolt when it comes to anything artistic.

Musical Theater 300. I was a music education major. I loved it! I've been in a few musicals and SOME DAY I will be Maria in the the Sound of Music (and finish my degree).

Study Abroad. I like to travel and learn about other people and cultures. Who wouldn't want to study in another country?

I am tagging: Bunsy, Loretta, Debbie L., Nicole E., and Emily W.

As for those habits...

I'm sorry to say that I did not meet my goal of going to bed by 10:30 once. Eeek. I did go to bed by 11:30 most of the time. This one is going to need more work and I think a more realistic goal of going to bed by 11pm.

Well.....I did eat a lot LESS sugar than I would have. I'll be better this week.

To learn more about SMART Habit Saturdays head over to The Lazy Organizer and see what everyone else is doing.

****************I am taking a week off from blogging because the kids and I are taking a trip to Wisconsin. Except when we post the giveaway winner on Wednesday. Stay tuned*****************************

Metamorphose

I can still smell the cleaner.
The sterile room was not particularly inviting. The lights were dim. The furniture was light-wood and dated. The tile floor was gray and cold.

I paced the floor so often that night. Probably a thousand times. Back and forth, back and forth. Often it was very painful to walk and when I could catch my breath, I smelled the cleaner. Pine-y, with a hint of chlorine.

The chlorine smell reminded me of early morning swimming work outs. Which reminded me of being 15. Of laughing and crying and dreaming. I had often dreamed about this very day.

My senses were given super natural powers that night. Heightened by fear, anxiety and adrenalin. The world was in painfully sharp focus. And yet, I felt surreal. Was this a dream? Was this really happening? What am I doing here? My mind was spinning like the carousel my sister and I used to ride when we were kids in San Francisco. Terror and panic began to creep up into my soul.

Just when I thought my heart would fail me I opened my eyes. My glorious sense of sight revealed the face of love. The face I dreamed about when I was in college. The face I said yes to. The face I saw through tears across an alter in a place that bound us together for eternity. The face that was going to see me through this. But seeing this wonderful face made me think about another face.

The face I was going to meet very soon. Would he have his father's ocean eyes? Would he have his cleft chin? What about his nose? I closed my eyes and thought of all the possibilities. I thought of all the faces that could contribute to this one little face. My mother, my father, my grandparents-- and mine.

The intense emotion swelled inside my chest almost to the breaking point. Darkness and pain took over again. And then bright, bright light. Pierced by the sound of joy. Complete joy in the robust cry of my first born child. My life's purpose, manifested to me in the form of a wet, wrinkled little cleft-chinned boy with a nose just like mine.

I left that not-so sterile, most wonderful room a new person with the glorious smell of cleaner lingering in the air.



*This post is being entered in Scribbit's Write Away contest for November.

Thursday Thirteen: Talk on Service

Today is so busy...so I'm not doing a list, But I've been wanting to post this excerpt from a talk I gave in church a while ago. I need this reminder to serve.

Moving to Utah was the right thing for our family to do. I felt that as we prayed. It was hard though. We had two wonderful little children and I was 8 months pregnant with our third. We had to sell our cute little home and say good-bye to friends and family and live on a much tighter budget. Even though I knew that coming to Utah was the right thing to do, I was nursing a little self pity. I had been the Primary President in our Tacoma Ward for four years and was sort-of looking forward to a “break”. I sensed, however that I was really going to need Heavenly Father’s help to get through the next few years and so fervently prayed for it. Understand, I had faith that he would answer my prayer and this is how I wanted him to answer it: “I go to the mail box and find a letter informing me that I had won the publisher’s clearing house thing.” or maybe this, “My mom calls and says that she is going to come and stay with me for the next 3 years.” and if those were to much to ask then maybe this, “BYU recognizes my husbands incredible talent and ability and decides to let him graduate 2 years early.”

But you know, our loving father in heaven who desires most for our ETERNAL happiness knew much better. 3 or 4 weeks after I had Claire I was called to be the Visiting Teaching coordinator. And what I blessing it was!! I got to know so many of the sisters in the ward in a very short time and it really helped me to feel at home in a very new place. PLUS it kept me busy enough that I felt useful and that increased my self worth.

A few months after that calling I was called to be the Relief Society President-- with 3 little kids and husband working and going to school full time and with barely enough means to support our little family. Was this the answer to my prayer?! Was this how the Lord was going to help me through this challenging time in my life?! Brothers and sisters...it was the best thing. I testify that the Lord knows us! I was talking to someone the other day and she mentioned that maybe I probably feel comfortable in a leadership calling. I was shocked that someone would think this! This is not true!!! But the miracle of the 5 loaves and 3 fishes kept coming into my mind. What we have is enough. The Lord will increase it if we are willing. I really don’t have time to tell you all of the ways that calling has blessed my life in the last 2 years. I saw so many quiet acts of kindness. I have been forever touched by testimonies. Our children have been blessed with wonderful primary teachers and leaders who faithfully serve. For this I am very grateful. I have been able to witness miracles, to cry with my dear sister tears of happiness and sorrow. To see some struggle and then succeed and to feel a measure of the joy that comes with that. Through all this our family has been healthy and safe. I gave birth to my 4th little one who was born healthy despite tests that told she might not have been. Despite meetings and being called away from home, our family stayed close. We’ve always had enough food...even enough to share. One Sunday, we were feeling particularly stressed. It had been a busy week and I hadn’t been able to go to the store to do shopping and I was feeling like my spiritual sponge was dry. I remember praying for help saying, “Heavenly father, I want to do what you have asked me to do but I need help.” We went to church and I felt the spirit so strongly and thanked Heavenly Father for answering my prayer so quickly. I remember being emotional about it. AND THEN we came home from church and there on our door step was a wonderful meal with a very nice note that someone had left anonymously. I knelt down immediately and thanked heavenly father and was SO overcome with feeling and I KNEW that he was taking care of us. That person who performed that very kind act of service may never know just how much it effected me and my family that day. But I know the Lord will bless them for it. And I will try to follow their example. Yes, the Lord knows us and hears and answers our prayers. Maybe not in the way WE think is best for us but in the way that will lead us to eternal happiness.
Brothers and sisters, we can work a little more to increase our faith. We can pray fervently and with faith to know who we can serve. We don’t need to be Relief Society president or Elder’s quorum president. I know a young sister who’s husband had a debilitating illness and was confined to a wheelchair. She became the sole breadwinner and was mother of 2 children and caregiver to her husband. Yet she was cheerful and upbeat. I marveled at her strength and wondered how she sustained it. Then one day I got a call from her. She said,” Sonja, can I come and mop your floor.”
I was so surprised! I told her that I should come and mop HER floor and she said "No, I need to do some service." That was her secret. When she started feeling low she went out to find someone to serve. How wonderful!!! I was so moved by her example.

President Kimball said,”IF we focus on simple principles and simple acts of service, we will see that organizational lines soon lose some of their significance. Too often in the past, organizational lines in the Church have become walls that have kept us from reaching out to individuals as completely as we should. We will also find as we become less concerned with getting organizational or individual credit that we will become more concerned with serving the one whom we are charged to reach. We will also find ourselves becoming less concerned with our organizational identity and more concerned with our true and ultimate identity as a son or daughter of our Father in heaven and helping others to achieve the same sense of belonging."

Matthew 10:39 -40 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me

4x4 MEME

What does MEME stand for?
I got tagged by my new friend Cocoa! Do you dream in chocolate?? I think Cocoa does. :D
So here we go:

Four jobs I've had:
1. Ophthalmic Technician
2. Receptionist at a Print Shop
3. Hostess at Sheri's
4. Life Guard/ Swim Instructor

Four places I've lived:
1. Tacoma, WA
2. Edmond, OK
3. Nurnberg, Germany
4. San Francisco, CA

Four movies I love:
1. LOTR
2. Pride & Prejudice - A & E version
3. Thoroughly Modern Millie
4. Princess Bride

Four movies I'd like to see:
1. Bourne Ultimatum
2. Becoming Jane
3. Golden Compass
4. Just can't think of another one right now...

Four favorite foods: (I have so many favorites!)
1. Spinich Saag (Indian soup)
2. I've liked all the Thai dishes I've tried so far
3. Anything my mom makes
4. Baklava (especially Sunny's)

Four weird things about me: (I can only list four?)
1. I have small ears.
2. I don't think this is weird, but I like to tell people that my mom is from Finland.
3. I hardly ever wear socks and shoes.
4. I like the color of blood but I don't like to look at blood.

Four places I'd rather be:
1. In bed reading a good book.
2. Swimming in a clear mountain lake on a warm sunny day.
3. In the temple with ALL my children and family. (someday!)
4. Exploring old castles with Jeremy.

MY Thursday Thirteen: No Regrets

I love all the lists I've read....so I'm jumping in. Can't promise mine will be as interesting.

How often do you do something that you regret? Yearly, Monthly, Daily...Never? I find it hard to believe that there is anyone who has NEVER done anything they will regret. For me, it varies. Some weeks there are more regrets. BUT I am an OPTIMIST! (at least in this blog) And reader, I will not bog you down tonight with my regrets. No, I'm saving those for my country single debut. Tonight I've been thinking about thirteen things that I have NEVER regretted doing. Here they are, in no particular order.


1. Flossing my teeth. Sometimes I'm so tired when I get ready for bed that I think about skipping this step. I just can't though and I NEVER regret doing it because...ewww just think about all that stuff hanging out there all night.

2. Exercising. It's hard to get going...but I love the feeling of my heart beating fast and sweat dripping every where. (Sorry if that was a little too graphic--it's true)

3. Reading with my kids. Do I have the time? Is it too crazy? I NEVER regret sitting down with my kids when they ask me to read a story. So let's move over that mountain of laundry and find a place to sit and read.

4. Kissing my husband. You better believe, I have never regretted this. I'll just leave it at that.

5. Cleaning the kitchen. Even if I have to stay up really late. I sleep better knowing my kitchen is clean. I also wake up happier :D

6. Saying my prayers. I need all the help I can get.

7. Reading scriptures. I LOVE reading the scriptures!

8. Eating a healthy diet. Hang on now, this doesn't mean that I have stellar eating habits. Just when I DO eat well, I never regret it. Why don't I eat healthy all the time?

9. Spending a little extra money to get a good hair cut. I feel so GREAT when I have a fresh look. I'm in need of this right now.

10. Helping someone who needs it. Gospel truth. Pure religion. No regrets.

11. Wearing my seat belt. My parents could tell you of a few of my misadventures as a new driver. Let's just say, I've never regretted wearing my seat belt. Poor, poor van....

12. Having a family. I can't imagine anything that could bring me more joy.

13. Starting this blog! Ever since we got DSL this whole new world has opened up to me. In fact, I'm singing that song right now in my head, "A whole new world... A dazzling place I never knew..." You know, from Aladdin? I am learning so much from my fellow bloggers, finding friends, keeping in touch with friends who are far away and have found an avenue of escape to precious "me time".


Well, that's all for now folks! Remember to accentuate the positive...

What was I doing?

This is the first time I've been tagged! Thanks Debbie!!

What was I doing 10 years ago?Jeremy and I were still honeymooning! We were both working in a small print shop in Puyallup, WA. Both going to school. In fact, we did EVERYTHING together in those days. We even went to Florida, to Disney World! Whoa, was that just a dream?
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What was I doing 5 years ago?


Fixing up the cutest little house in the world! We were living in Tacoma, WA. "We" were Jerm and me and Samuel (3) and Elise (1). We were busy with church callings, going to Mariners' games, going to the beach, hiking in the beautiful mountains, playing Cranium and Apples to Apples, and battling the incessant sugar ant infestation that plagued our neighborhood. Good times....
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What was I doing 1 year ago?
One year ago baby Anna was 6 mo old. "We" were now Jerm, me, Samuel, Elise, Claire and Anna. We had become this big family...it seems like it happened overnight! Jeremy was a super busy full-time student at BYU and worked in the development department at the MTC. I was adjusting to life with 4 kids (biggest adjustment for me so far) and loving my Relief Society calling (even though it kept me pretty busy too). Jeremy and I hardly saw each other. Seriously....He had just come back from a 3 month internship in SF and went straight back to full-time school mode. The kids were busy with school things and life was flying by at lightning speed! Hey, wasn't this just yesterday?
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Speaking of yesterday....
What did you do yesterday?
Got up...Made breakfast. Read scriptures. Put roast in crock-pot. Listened to Conference. Went for a walk. Listened to more Conference (Oh! It was so great...) Made apple pie. Had dinner with fam and brother. Talked to sister, mom and dad on phone. Planned for school this week. Blogged.
What a nice relaxing day, eh? :D
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Six places I would rather be.....
Well, I am a homebody and truly love being with my family, so THAT is always my first choice. My NEXT six places would be:

1. In Turkey with my friend, Christine!
2. Traveling all of Europe with Jerm.
3. The West Indies with Jerm. (That's were he served a mission)
4. At home in WI with all my family and kayaking on the river.
5. Climbing a mountain in good weather.
6. Exploring New York City with Jerm.

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5 Treats that I LOVE

1. GRANOLA! I really like to make granola and there is no better combination of textures and tastes in my mouth than home-made granola and yogurt and fruit.
2. I really like Angel food cake with heaps of whipped cream and berries.
3. Crepes with strawberry jam.
4. My mom's Finnish Pulla (sweet roll with cinnamon and cardamon)
5. Pumpkin cookies dipped in hot chocolate (well, just about ANY cookie dipped in hot chocolate...while reading a good book--that makes it extra special!)

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What would I do with a million dollars?
I would invest it.
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5 Favorite TV shows
(You know....we really don't watch TV. When we do, it's usually these re-runs on DVD)

Andy Griffith Show
Muppet Show
Planet Earth
Law and Order (the original)
Keeping up Appearances
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My most memorable thing right now?
I suppose it is that I am loving homeschooling. I takes up all my time and energy and causes me to stretch mentally, physically and emotionally but I love it!
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God's hand in my life...

I enjoyed General Conference so much this weekend! Again, I have immense gratitude in my heart for the blessings of the gospel! I want to SHOUT to the world, "Here is TRUTH! Here is HAPPINESS! It's yours for the taking! Come, FIND yourself here." Well reader, you will hear me at least. :) Maybe you feel the same way I do and we rejoice together! Maybe you don't know much about The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. If perchance, you want to know more about what makes our family happy please click on the General Conference link above.
Here are some photos of our walk in between sessions:





President Eyring told a story about how the Lord taught him to recognize His hand in his life. Ever since the night that the Lord prompted him to write down his experiences, he has written every night some incident in which the Lord has blessed either him or his family that day. He said that it had greatly increased his testimony and has blessed the lives of his children to be able to look back and see how the Lord is directly involved in our lives and desires to bless us.

I want to do this too.

Last week, there were a couple of days that I was a little tense. Sam could tell. During a particularly stressful time, he gave me this note:

Temper found. Needless to say, this letter softened my heart and was the reminder I needed so much. Straight from heaven to me from my darling, wonderful boy! Truly, this was an answer to prayer. Truly, the Lord knows us and desires for us to be happy and successful in our families. Isn't it wonderful? The hand of the Lord in my life on this day.