There is nothing to fear but...

FEAR!

That's right. Freakiness.

A few Fridays ago, while I was at work Jeremy and the kids watched Coraline. We didn't really know too much about it. We knew it was based on a children's book. We knew the stop motion animation was cool.

What we did not know, has come back to bite us. Again and again.

In all honesty, we did know it might be a tad freaky, but it was rated PG, and our kids have been able to handle the likes, of Star Wars (4-6 and 1,2) and Harry Potter.

This one is scary because the theme is more relate-able? The thought of parents missing or turning into scary, children eating spiders comes a little too close to home? I'm not sure, but I wish Jeremy had turned it off before Anna got the scary image imprinted in her very impressionable little mind.

All of our hard work, nights and nights of singing, back rubbing, praying and reading to try and get her to stay in her own bed at night, undone in 90min.

Sigh....

Choose wisely my friends.

On a different note, but in the same vein:
I submitted this post: Fear ala Edgar Allan Poe (written last year, one of my favorites)
to Scribbit's Write-Away contest this month.

Backyard Adventures

We moved into our house last September prepared to do lots of work on the backyard. It was in bad, bad shape as you can see:

We waited all winter and endured the mud in spring. Finally last month we went to work. It was A LOT of work.

We brought in a truck load of dirt and our VERY KIND neighbor came with his bobcat to help us move the dirt and spread it out all nice.


Then we hired a hydroseeding company to come and spray their magic on our blood, sweat, tears and dirt.
Then we waited.

And waited. And watered A LOT. After 7 days I was getting worried. I didn't see ANYTHING. Not even the littlest smidgen of green.

And then, yesterday these little verdant slivers made me the happiest person! So, we now anticipate a lush green lawn this summer. We can hardly wait!!


Our garden has been growing too. Last year we had all kinds of troubles. I was really hoping for a nice little garden this year with peas,

tomatoes,
green beans,
and peppers,
and then the wind blew this HUGE branch right-on-top-of-my-garden!We are resuscitating all we can and are hoping for the best. The onions and zucchini are the only things unscathed. My kids are very disappointed that their least favorite garden items are saved. Hopefully the others will bounce back. Sheesh...

A cautionary tale.

My friends, a tragedy told in two parts.

Part One.
Early this spring I was walking around our block admiring the new buds on the trees, smiling at all the chirping birds and breathing in the fresh air that comes after rain. It was early in the morning and I was all by myself. (A rarity) When I came to the corner of our block, I was shocked at what lay before me.

Two robins lay in the middle of the street. They were dead. But they did not have a scratch on them. They had not been run over or eaten. It was very perplexing and a little disturbing.

I actually had to resist the urge to run and get my camera. Their beautiful, little, unscathed bodies laying side by side reminded me so much of a tragic avian Romeo and Juliet.

I could not enjoy the rest of my walk. The pitiful birds were a stark contrast to the whole world that seemed to be teeming with life, from the buzzing insects to the green foliage. I kept wondering what brought about their demise.

Then it hit me.

The two love birds were so caught up in a rush of spring-twitter-pated ecstasy they didn't see the windshield coming. Bam! Stunned to death by the sudden impact they must have flown off the windshield and landed in the middle of the street. It's strange (and probably morbid) but that image has stayed with me and will probably never leave me.

Part Two.
Later that day I told my husband about the robins. It did not impact him the same way it did me. I suppose that is because I had a guilty conscience and he did not.

You see, I tend to get carried away in big ideas. Sometimes I can get so focused on one thing that I loose track of why I'm really here. It's ridiculous and it mostly comes in the form of: me staying up until 1 or 2 am reading, editing photos, writing, blogging, cleaning (ok, I hardly ever stay up cleaning), and so forth. Without enough sleep, I may as well have been hit by a windshield. I'm not as patient with my family, I don't get nearly as much done, and I tend to grab more chocolate chips than I should.

When I have balance in my life, it's like a vibrant spring day. All those extra things are lovely little parts of life. But when I focus too much on myself and don't rein in those desires -- Bam! Things spin out of focus and the dark clouds of discouragement, discontent and discord roll in. The good news is, I can get up after a fall. Unlike those robins, I can learn and adjust my priorities to avoid getting hit again.

So my friends, beware the terrible tragedy that befalls those who, in a fit of selfish passion, cast reason and sleep aside to pursue personal pleasures. Moderation is our friend and will see us through many future springs.

This little birdie is going to sleep, getting up to jog tomorrow and will keep trying to avoid the windshield.

Anyone Can Cook.

As you can see, I've been on a picture-taking kick. It's my new (renewed) mania. My writing has suffered. My laundry, dinners, reading, husband and kitchen floor have suffered too. But not the kids. Let me assure you with all these lovely pictures of the kids. See? They're happy and fine.

(Pictures of their school projects are coming, dad.)

Let me 'splain.

It's a cycle. And it goes like this:

I get super motivated to do lots of things.
I stay busy, busy, busy.
I break down.
I find a creative outlet and pour myself into it to get out of the break down.
I get super motivated to do lots of things, etc.

So, this is my survival technique. I'm not sure why I can't be level all the time or why I can't just avoid those break downs all together. The other day I was wondering if I was ever really consistent about anything. Happily, I can say that I'm pretty consistent when it comes to my testimony of the gospel and my love for my family. Running, going to bed on time, finishing a book, learning that new Debussy song, going all-natural, being a health nut....I'm consistent about being inconsistent with these.

When president Uchtdorf talked about the "creative desire," in his most excellent talk, I really thought he was talking specifically to me. But that's also what the lady sitting next to me thought. And the ladies behind and in front of me. It speaks to so many of us, because it's truth.
Amen.

and Amen.

I'm still learning about photography. I gotta tell you, it's a little intimidating being married to a guy who is so darn artistic. When I'm not frustrated up to my ears because of how easy he makes it look, I do learn a lot from him.

And when I actually take a picture that looks good to me, I feel so great!

I think to myself (with a German accent like Uchtdorf's): Everyone can create!

And then, for some reason, I think to myself (with a French accent like Gustave's in Ratatouille): Anyone can cook!

And then I want to go cook up something exotic and fabulous. hmm....

Yes, I will create it. I will eat it. And I will feel deep satisfaction and fulfillment.


(If only I could get them to wear colors that coordinate. And Anna, sweet Anna...everyone else thought my orange joke was funny.)

Housefly's Revenge?

I am ruthless when it comes to pesky houseflies.

Typically, if a wandering spider, or other such insect-type, happens to cross my living room, I carefully scoop him up with a piece of paper and take him back outside. I have a hard time squishing bugs.

But this is not the case with flies. I wield my kitchen towel with precision and power. Snapping those annoying, dirty, winged creatures into oblivion. Mwahh ahh ahh ahh....

Last week, however, I think I met my match. We experienced an onslaught. They were everywhere. I was downing 'em like crazy. And then I heard this voice. A very tiny voice with a Latin accent:
The next evening I spent much of my time here:
And this week, Inigo's curse has touched the rest of us. Perhaps it's because I mentioned that my schedule would work as long as nobody got sick. Maybe I cursed myself. (I haven't been leaving the milk out, dad.) In any case, it's not pretty.

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Perspective for my whine.

photo taken from NationalGeographicNews.com

Our hearts go out to all of you in the Midwest.

Keeping it together.

"Egg shell mosaic", by Stacey Previn

How do you keep from going to pieces when your whole day seems to be falling apart? I've been known to belt out some musicals, write poetry, run...far...away, or just whine about it here at the ol' blog.

Are you ready for the biggest whine of your life?

Ah hem...

My head feels like it's going to explode from all the lovely pollen and cotton wood around here.

I've been van-less for a long time. As in, no vehicle. Nada. My primary mode of transportation is the bike and its trailer and it is no fun to ride a bike in 90 degree weather with four young children in tow. Jeremy has assured me that we will buy a car this weekend.

I found out today, as the boards were coming off the fence in the back, that our neighbors are planning on building a brick wall in the back.
"And we will have to dig up most of your garden," the hired contractors tell me.
The garden that we protected from the gopher; that we endured misquote bites for to make sure it got watered; that is the reason our hands are chapped; that we are just beginning to enjoy the fruits of; that we nourished with the sweat of our own bodies! Yeah, that garden. I spent a good chunk of my day today trying to work that whole situation out.
Was there a bee in my bonnet, you ask? Heck yes.

Despite my best efforts, I can not get more than 6 hours of sleep at night. The past few nights I've gone to bed before 11pm, but now my daughters are having a hard time sleeping. Bad dreams, bed wetting, endless thirst, and loud motorcycles have been keeping me from my sweet dreams. Yes, it's probably good that I've been going to bed earlier, so that I can help my girls during this time and not be a complete monster, but this is a whine, remember? If I'm going to give up that precious alone time, I want 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, by jingo!

I remembered today that clear contact paper makes me insane. Why do I forget that? I begin a new project and think: this time, this time it will work for me. It will be easy. I don't have to run to the store to have this poster laminated. I already have some contact paper on hand (from the last project that drove me insane). I'm so clever and frugal, aren't I?
No, no, no! I should have taken it to the store to be laminated! It is ABSOLUTELY worth it to pay a little extra than to spend many minutes trying to make clear contact paper look good.

My upstairs bathroom sink is clogged.

The. kids. are. going. crazy. I need to have some discipline and order. Right now. Chaos is raging and I feel helpless against the tide that is summer vacation. We've had our break and now there WILL BE order. and charts. and plans. and lists, so help me...

Jeremy stepped on a huge, ugly, white, grub or caterpillar this morning in our bedroom. We deduced that the poor creature must have climbed in his jeans while they were hanging on the fence to dry yesterday. Talk about yuck. I mean, he described the sound of the squish. Blech...
I was so paranoid about all the laundry, I had to go through and shake all of it. And I prepared myself for the worst: A gianormous, yucky bug infestation in half the clothes we own. Thankfully, I didn't find any others. Yet.

I guess I was expecting this list to be a little longer. It's comforting to think, maybe this wasn't such a bad day after all. It could have been worse, no?

And now for my Broadway belt...

TOMORROW, TOMORROW, I LOVE YA, TOMORROW, YOU'RE ALWAYS A DAY AWAY!

The Best Medicine

Someone has figured out that Garfield is actually funnier without Garfield.
(At least in our opinion, no offense G.)

Thank you Jeremy, for this much needed laugh today.

Get the full effect at:
Garfield Minus Garfield

OH! The Drama!

Lest ye be deceived, and think that everything is always sunshine and roses, here's a little chunk of my reality for ye.

I am an optimist and a dreamer. I can also be a little dramatic. For example, "I'm taking a break from blogging!" --Yeah right. I like blogging. It's very therapeutic for me. I am not typically a very organized person and it really helps me organize homeschooling, thoughts, etc. I just need to practice better moderation. (Story of my life.)

My children also tend to be dramatic. We could get into the whole nature vs nurture debate but I'd rather just document this day for posterity.

Yesterday, daughter and I were working on a zoo mural, an idea I gleaned from Cellista. It was a big, fun project for our animal studies. She colored and colored. She even let younger daughter color a few pages. Then she went up to play. I started taping the mural together. I was excited for her to see it all put together. I called her down. I was not prepared for the sadness that ensued. Daughter was very distraught. The dotted lines were showing. The tape was showing. The coloring was not perfect. Crying. Wailing. Gnashing of teeth. I kid you not.

I tried to talk and reason with daughter. Nothin' doing. She stormed outside--and I let her. This happens every once-in-a-while. There is a nursery rhyme that I always think of when situations like this pop up:

There once was a girl, with a curl in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad, she was horrid.

After playing outside for about 10 min. same daughter comes back in chipper as the birds on our feeders. Mural is forgotten. Daughter is excited about spring and her seeds that we will plant soon. Daughter loves her mother again.

We finished putting animals on the mural later in the day. And daughter exclaims, "Well, it's really not that bad."

Oi vey.

On our walk, younger daughter has fits because older daughter races in front of her on scooter. They are just out of arms' reach and I'm walking with youngest daughter. All of a sudden I hear an earth shattering scream from younger daughter and try to reach her. She is screaming at older daughter and will not stop. I try in vain to catch up with them. Then I pray a SWAT team doesn't show up after the neighbors call the police because they are sure someone is being murdered! The daughters on their scooters turn a corner and I pick up youngest and start to hoof it. By the time I reach the darlings, they are laughing and smiling. I make sure to threaten them with all the power vested in me as mother, that if I ever hear screaming like that on our walk again, I will be the SWAT team.

Finally, youngest daughter. Right now you are the embodiment of drama. You were blessed with an incredible lung capacity and a set of pipes that will, no doubt, land you a spot in the Met someday. I know it's hard to communicate. I know your feelings are larger than your little body can hold sometimes. But, did the entire can of cocoa powder really need to be thrown on the floor, again? Do the walls really need any more marker colorings? How about my books? What have they ever done to you? All this makes me more prone to drama. But when you come sweetly into my arms and give me hugs all is forgiven. When you smile and laugh it is easy to overlook the extra work you sometimes make for me. One day the drama will be for reasons other than spills and dolls.

The boys escaped the drama yesterday and headed to the slopes. They had a good time. However, they are not immune and contribute equally to the drama most days.

At least it makes life interesting. And my ability to gloss the situation over usually kicks in by Sunday when I write my weekly report. I can make everything sunshine and roses then.

I'll be back.

I love you, blog.

But I think we need a break.

I miss my old friends, knitting needles and piano keys.

Also, I'm not spending enough time with my pillow.

The bathroom scale says I've been sitting too much.

It's not you, it's me.

I'll be back, I just need some time to find myself again.

I'll be back.

Till we meet again.

Sweet rose, fair flower, untimely pluck'd, soon vaded,
Pluck'd in the bud, and vaded in the spring!
Bright orient pearl, alack, too timely shaded!
Fair creature, kill'd too soon by death's sharp sting!
Like a green plum that hangs upon a tree,
And falls, through wind, before the fall should be.
--Shakespeare

The last time a spoke with her was probably 8 or 9 years ago. I didn't even know that she was living in Utah. Then I read a horrific story in the paper about a woman being shot in the parking lot of her church building. I was mortified to learn that woman was my old friend Kristy. After some reflection, a flood of memories tumbled into my mind. I sought out my old photo albums and wondered how many other people would be doing the same this week. Probably many, many grief-stricken people.

I knew her as Kristy Palizzi. We were in the singles ward together in Puyallup. I'll admit I was a little intimidated by her at first. Who wouldn't be? She was beautiful, confident, popular, strong, smart and talented. Yet, when you got to know her she was so real. I remember singing in "My Servant Joseph" with her. I remember hearing her sing at church. She had a rich, gorgeous voice. I remember talking with her about Jeremy, when we first started dating. She was very good friends with Jeremy's sister-in-law. She came to my bridal shower and she came to my wedding. Her mom helped my mom with the reception. Her mom also gave me piano lessons for awhile. Oh! My heart grieves, the more I reflect on these memories, however brief they may be. There is a small space in there for hope. The knowledge that we have a Savior. While our poor mortal minds find these things difficult and painful to perceive, He in his infinite mercy and wisdom is able to perfectly carry out the justice that is needed. He, alone, can provide the balm of comfort and the whisperings of peace.

We are going to the funeral on Saturday. I will bring these quotes with me in my heart. Once again, I find that I do not have the right words and so, must lean on someone else.

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. ~Author Unknown

Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
~Author Unknown

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ. Mosiah 16: 8


There is a memorial fund set up for Kristy's two children. You may donate to it at any Wells Fargo Bank under the Ragsdale Children Fund.

Motivation

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true friends; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world YOUR best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.” -Mother Teresa

MY Thursday Thirteen: No Regrets

I love all the lists I've read....so I'm jumping in. Can't promise mine will be as interesting.

How often do you do something that you regret? Yearly, Monthly, Daily...Never? I find it hard to believe that there is anyone who has NEVER done anything they will regret. For me, it varies. Some weeks there are more regrets. BUT I am an OPTIMIST! (at least in this blog) And reader, I will not bog you down tonight with my regrets. No, I'm saving those for my country single debut. Tonight I've been thinking about thirteen things that I have NEVER regretted doing. Here they are, in no particular order.


1. Flossing my teeth. Sometimes I'm so tired when I get ready for bed that I think about skipping this step. I just can't though and I NEVER regret doing it because...ewww just think about all that stuff hanging out there all night.

2. Exercising. It's hard to get going...but I love the feeling of my heart beating fast and sweat dripping every where. (Sorry if that was a little too graphic--it's true)

3. Reading with my kids. Do I have the time? Is it too crazy? I NEVER regret sitting down with my kids when they ask me to read a story. So let's move over that mountain of laundry and find a place to sit and read.

4. Kissing my husband. You better believe, I have never regretted this. I'll just leave it at that.

5. Cleaning the kitchen. Even if I have to stay up really late. I sleep better knowing my kitchen is clean. I also wake up happier :D

6. Saying my prayers. I need all the help I can get.

7. Reading scriptures. I LOVE reading the scriptures!

8. Eating a healthy diet. Hang on now, this doesn't mean that I have stellar eating habits. Just when I DO eat well, I never regret it. Why don't I eat healthy all the time?

9. Spending a little extra money to get a good hair cut. I feel so GREAT when I have a fresh look. I'm in need of this right now.

10. Helping someone who needs it. Gospel truth. Pure religion. No regrets.

11. Wearing my seat belt. My parents could tell you of a few of my misadventures as a new driver. Let's just say, I've never regretted wearing my seat belt. Poor, poor van....

12. Having a family. I can't imagine anything that could bring me more joy.

13. Starting this blog! Ever since we got DSL this whole new world has opened up to me. In fact, I'm singing that song right now in my head, "A whole new world... A dazzling place I never knew..." You know, from Aladdin? I am learning so much from my fellow bloggers, finding friends, keeping in touch with friends who are far away and have found an avenue of escape to precious "me time".


Well, that's all for now folks! Remember to accentuate the positive...

God's hand in my life...

I enjoyed General Conference so much this weekend! Again, I have immense gratitude in my heart for the blessings of the gospel! I want to SHOUT to the world, "Here is TRUTH! Here is HAPPINESS! It's yours for the taking! Come, FIND yourself here." Well reader, you will hear me at least. :) Maybe you feel the same way I do and we rejoice together! Maybe you don't know much about The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. If perchance, you want to know more about what makes our family happy please click on the General Conference link above.
Here are some photos of our walk in between sessions:





President Eyring told a story about how the Lord taught him to recognize His hand in his life. Ever since the night that the Lord prompted him to write down his experiences, he has written every night some incident in which the Lord has blessed either him or his family that day. He said that it had greatly increased his testimony and has blessed the lives of his children to be able to look back and see how the Lord is directly involved in our lives and desires to bless us.

I want to do this too.

Last week, there were a couple of days that I was a little tense. Sam could tell. During a particularly stressful time, he gave me this note:

Temper found. Needless to say, this letter softened my heart and was the reminder I needed so much. Straight from heaven to me from my darling, wonderful boy! Truly, this was an answer to prayer. Truly, the Lord knows us and desires for us to be happy and successful in our families. Isn't it wonderful? The hand of the Lord in my life on this day.

Mess-Maker

When the going gets tough, the tough break out in song and imagine they are in a musical because that's what makes them happy.
The twinkle has entered the eye of my baby. Not the happy twinkle that parents delight in seeing. No, no...this is the "ha Haaa! I have discovered the fun of taking all my clothes off and escaping out the back door" twinkle. The "ha Haaa! I have learned how to take off marker caps and unleash the magic that lies within" look. She gives this twinkle-eyed look to me just before she climbs up to Elise's top bunk bed and scares me half to death!--And as she's knocking down all the clothes I spent an hour folding and organizing. Come on moms, you know what I'm talking about right? I'm on edge...
So after like, the thirteenth time I mopped the floor today...when I was close to tears because little 16 month old Anna is a whirlwind, no, hurricane right now, this song just popped into my head: (to the tune of "Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof)

Mess-maker, mess-maker, making a mess
You are so cute,
but I am distressed!
I clean up one room
and come out and see
an other mess! Oh! Dear me!

Anna, please leave your diaper on...
No! Don't you go on the chair!
We don't throw our dinner upon the floor
Don't put that Vaseline in you hair!

Mess-maker, mess-maker growing up fast
Learning so much
These messes can't last.
I hope that someday my cleaning will prove
The love that I have for you!

Just smile and sing. Can you imagine me just smiling and singing as I'm mopping the milk and yogurt and sticky, sticky Ramen noodles off the floor and walls? Well I was. Cheap therapy people, go pop in a musical and start watching....after you put the hurricane to bed. Right now all my kids are sleeping and I feel like singing "Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles...."

I LOVE Relief Society!

When soldiers need to march long distances they march in columns. They can go much farther and faster when they march in a group.
How do the emperor penguins survive the winter in Antarctica? They huddle together.
How am I able to function as a wife, mother of four, full-time teacher, cub scout den leader, etc.? I have my sisters! This is a known principle: Women need each other

I just got back from the Relief Society broadcast in Salt Lake. It was the first time I've ever been to a meeting in the conference center and it was WONDERFUL! There were thousands of other woman there. I was particularly struck when we all started singing the opening hymn. I could feel the power of being united in faith with all these woman. We may have different backgrounds and opinions but we were all united in our faith of Jesus Christ and his restored gospel. The speakers were excellent. I am more commited to standing strong and immovable, to being a better visiting teacher and a better mother. I loved President Monson's talk. We are so blessed!
Driving there and back was half the fun! Thank you so much to the ladies who went with me! Thank you Jenny for driving and getting us there safely, despite the snow! I enjoyed being with you so much!

Total Momsense!

I found this on Scribbit. Go ahead and laugh. It's true and you know it!

Kate DiCamillo

This is one of my favorite authors. This is one of the best journal/blog entries I've read:
http://www.katedicamillo.com/journal/j06-11.html

Are we having fun yet?

Stop and smell the roses.
Laugh with your kids.
Laugh at yourself.
Try something new.
Take the scenic route.