20 Years

If you haven't already, you really must check out the Write Away winners over at Michelle of Scribbit's. They are all excellent posts on the theme "The next 20 years".

I am very intrigued by the thought of the next 20 years and what my life and family will be like. Coincidentally, this thought occurred to me before I read the above posts, as I kissed my youngest and put her in her bed tonight. They are angels while they sleep in their beds. I wondered how many more bedtime kisses I will be able to give my cherubs. I can't think about that too much, too painful. I just enjoy all these kisses now and imprint them forever in my heart. That's the kind of scrap booking I do these days. Heart imprints. It's unfortunate that no one else can see these precious images but me. I can't carry a camera all the time. When is someone going to invent a camera that you can implant in your finger? It's times like this that I wish I was an artist. I could paint all my lovely memories and hand them down to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Speaking of which, I could very well have grandchildren in 20 years.
I fact, I fully expect to.

Aaack!

My current youngest (yes, we may have more someday-- not any time soon) will be almost 22 in 20 years. My oldest will be almost 29. Almost my age right now. I will be the shortest in my family. I'm sure of that. What will it be like to look up into my children's faces?

Will their eyes still sparkle with fun and curiosity? I know how easy it is for the hardships of life to steal away that sparkle. Will they have hardships? Again, too painful. But I have learned in these last 20 years to know the sweetness and beauty of great composers, writers, and artists because of the experiences, including pain, I have had. Heartache and disappointment have helped me appreciate the genius and exquisite work of Dvorak, Chopin, Beethoven, Shakespeare, Dickens, Elliot, Raphael, da Vinci, Rembrandt, Michelangelo, I could go on and on. But one thing I'm pretty sure about; they could not have accomplished what they did without knowing hardship and pain. They were inspired by tragedy and their work is like the phoenix rising from the ashes. Compelling us, the beneficiaries, to take a better look at humanity and to look deeper within ourselves. In order to truly understand happiness we must understand sadness. To feel true joy we must know sorrow. This is all part of the eternal plan. More than anyone else, our Savior understands heartache and pain. When I begin to fear for my children and their future I look to our Savior and know that He is there. He will be with them and help them as He has helped me. He is as much their Savior as He is mine. That my friends, is how I can read the newspaper and sleep at night.

So what do I see myself doing in 20 years? I had a very clear vision of my 51 year old self last week at the Dancesport competitions. Jeremy will be twirling me and my red chiffon dress around the dance floor while dramatic Latin music plays in the background and my children snap pictures with their iFingers for their blogs.