A funny thing about this weekend:
I was planning on dressing the girls up in semi-matching dresses, fixing their hair with ribbons and bows, and then taking a fantastic family picture.
Apparently, someone had other ideas.
Someone in our family has very strong opinions about what looks nice. She wants her hair a certain way and likes clothes that are.....how shall I say?...not pink and frilly. She insisted on wearing her seventies-looking, blue dress with her hair strait, unbraided and uncurled, pulled back with a pink and red head band. To top it all off, she really needed to wear her bright red clogs.
I'm not very proud of the way I reacted to this. I really wanted her to let me have my way just this one time. I wanted her, (even though she is seven) to understand that because I work hard for her, sacrifice for her, and give her so much love and freedom, I qualify for one day of getting to pick her clothes and do her hair! Doesn't she want me to be happy? Couldn't she see how much it meant to me??
Apparently not.
This is when it is difficult to put aside the frail, flawed and regular human role and assume the awesome, super, parent role. Do I pursue this battle of wills? Where will it lead? Would it be better to put aside my own wants in this case or make a stand and say, "I AM THE MOTHER!"?
I'd like to say I was able to think this clearly the whole time. That fact is it was only after a considerable amount of tears (from both of us) that I finally, feebly approached the parent role and considered:
She is a good girl. She is usually obedient. She is kind. She is modest. And she is strong-willed. I have to let her win sometimes. The only harm done was to my pride.
As we walked to church I thought how I would much rather have our smiles match than our dresses.
And look! All that fuss, and we still turned out a descent picture. :)
7 comments:
There must be something about seven year old girls and the need to "win". Have been having similar battles of the wills recently, although I can't always say that I react as mature as you do. I tend to join her with some good old fashioned foot stomping and hands placed firmly on my hips, and eventually resort to "Because I'm the boss of you" talk. Again, I find myself saying "Must be more like Sonya".
BTW, the picture looks lovely and I love her vintage look.
I enjoyed that post. I felt it. I have been there so many times with my 5 year old.
You're right the picture did turn out wonderful!!
Funny how we all fight these little battles sometimes, and lots of times we end up feeling silly about it. Been there, done that!! :D
Loved this post...and the picture? To die for. Way to make it work, Sonja!
Everyone is looking so beautiful this Easter- loved the post!
oh, this is what i have to look forward to? the picture does look great, although i'm sure that the choice of black and white was necessary!:) and i'm proud of you for relenting. even though this issue is so very important to us moms, it is probably a good one to let her win on. and yet, i feel your pain!
i loved the part where you said, "I thought how I would much rather have our smiles match than our dresses." so profound and brilliant!
Your family is beautiful! And I'm sure it would be just as great were it in color. I have a strong-willed 4yo I'm finding out, but we haven't had any major battles. Yet. Because I'm not sure I could let the awesome, super parent role take over for my natural tendencies.
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