A Tale of Two Nest

A Tale of Stuff I Learned In the Best and Worst of Times, In Three Parts.





Book the First: Eggs of Abandonment.

We have discovered that we share this little plot of land with quite a few birds. The fact is, I'm sure they are not too happy to share with us.

They came and busily went about building their nests, here and there, only to discover that once the weather warmed, four noisy, busy children also occupied their back yard.

We were excited when we found the robin's nest in our tree by the kitchen window. Two beautiful blue eggs were laid.

We were perplexed and surprised one morning to find a little finch's nest in the wreath on our front door. Soon, four little eggs appeared. I was genuinely afraid for them, because that door is a busy place!

Sadly, both nests were abandoned by their parents before the little eggs had a chance of hatching.

Book the Second: In Which A Mother Reflects On Her Own Nest.

I had this experience a few days ago.
Before I continue, I feel I must preface. It's been a rough couple of weeks. I've learned each child goes through periods of insecurity and testing. Some have been louder than others during this time. I have four very strong children, and I'm glad they are that way.

But one is particularly strong. And loud.

And she's testing, boy is she testing. And I love her dearly, despite it all.

One morning she woke up screaming. Nothing was right. Everyone else was mean. (This, despite that fact that my husband and I took turns sleeping with her in the night.)

I was tired. So tired of the screaming and feeling like I was not in control. So I just let her scream a little in her room.

The thing is, it was the first day of summer break for the rest of my children. It was fairly early in the morning. Guess how happy they were to wake up to screaming? Not very.

So, I was ready to march upstairs and let her have it.

Before I did however, I said a little prayer.

I had the baby in my arms and after the prayer felt I should put him down in his crib and talk to my screaming child alone.

I went into her room and felt as though the spirit was directing my every move. When I opened my mouth, instead of yelling I told her I loved her. She still screamed. My arms reached down for her on the floor and scooped her up and just held her and told her everything was going to be okay.

She said she was cold, so I held her tighter.

She said she was hungry, so I carried her downstairs.

I held her in the kitchen for a while, where, I'm sorry to say, this thought crossed my mind:

"She doesn't deserve this."

Immediately this thought then entered my mind:

"You don't deserve most of the blessings and love you have."

Book the Third: In Conclusion

I'm so glad I'm not a bird.

But being a human is hard. Tears sting. Hearts break. Brains get tired. We make mistakes and sometimes wish we could just fly away.

There have been times (more than I'd like to admit) when I didn't pray before disciplining a child. I'm emotional and talk too much. Two big no-nos when disciplining a child.

We are in it for the long haul, however. No leaving the nest and starting over. The truth is, I get the chance to be with my family forever.

I'm so glad I'm not a bird.

I'm really thankful for Heavenly Father's help. I absolutely could not do this without His help. I love these little punks so much. I want them to be happy, healthy and know that I love them despite of my weaknesses.

I'm so glad the my Heavenly Father loves me, even when I am stubborn, neglectful, slow to learn, quick to anger and ungrateful. I understand that it is not pleasing to Him when I act that way, but He loves me just the same and will stand by and help me until I do learn, until I "get it."

This particular incident reminded me of this. It could have ended so badly, with me yelling. Instead, she sat with me quietly while eating her breakfast and said, "Thanks, mom."

Which being interpreted means: "I will love you forever for warming me up, calming me down and sticking by my side when things are hard."

My heart echos the psalmist:
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped. (Psalm 124:7)

The End