"What!" he bellowed. "ME....ME say I'm sorry! Kings never say 'I'm sorry!' And I am the mightiest king in all the world!"Bartholomew looked the King square in the eye. "You may be a mighty king," he said. "But you're sitting in oobleck up to your chin. And so is everyone else in your land. And if you won't even say you're sorry, you're no sort of a king at all!"
Bartholomew Cubbins tuned his back. He started for the throne room door. But then Bartholomew heard a great, deep sob. The old King was crying! "Come back, Bartholomew Cubbins! You're right! It is all my fault! And I am sorry! Oh, Bartholomew, I'm awfully, awfully sorry!"
And the moment the King spoke those words, something happened....
(from Bartholomew and the Oobleck, by Dr. Seuss)
There is so much power in the words we say. There is power in the simple act of laying aside our pride and admitting when we've done something wrong. It is a simple and monumental act. It can completely change the outcome of any given situation.
We see the effect of words in many every day things. You ask anyone in advertising how much time they spend carefully choosing the right words to entice us, they'll tell you a lifetime. How about lawyers? Preachers? Politicians--whoa, that could be a whole other post.
You get the idea.
Sometimes words come out of my mouth faster than I can even think. If you know me than you know what I'm talking about. I guess it's what you call "foot in mouth" syndrome. The problem with words is that once they are said, you can not take them back. No matter how much you want to. What is it about human nature that makes angry words feel so good to say when you are angry? I guess emotion clouds our judgment. It just feels good to be sarcastic or yell when I am angry. I feel horrible later. I'm getting better about controlling my anger, really. I also tend to over- analyze conversations I've had. Sometimes I will realize a faux pas I committed after the fact and feel just sick about it. Again, with the mouth-running-faster-than-the-brain syndrome. It's times like this I am very grateful for those magic words, "It's all my fault, I'm sorry. "
Don't you sometimes wish the receptionist at your pediatrician's office would smile and say a few kind words? I mean, a little consideration for a mother of four sick children who is obviously sick herself would go a long way. On the other hand, complaining, gossiping and rudeness to said mother who had to wait for an hour for her appointment is like fingernails scratching a chalkboard. It makes the hairs on my neck bristle and I want to turn into the Hulk and start smashing things. Seriously, I am working on that anger. I could go back to being sweet little mother goose if the lady would just say, "I'm sorry that you are not feeling well and it's our fault that you had to wait so long. Thank you for being patient." Is that too much to ask? The magic of those words can change a raging Hulk into a placated mother goose. I'm sure we have all felt their effect at one time or other.
It makes me feel SO good when someone says thank you to me. It doesn't matter if it is a little note or just words, but gratitude makes a big difference in how I feel about something or someone. Ironically, I am not always very good about remembering to say thank you. I really want to be better. I have so many people to thank.
'Please' is an interesting word. Taken directly from WikiAnswers: Please comes from the Latin "placere" (cf. English placate) meaning "to be acceptable, approved of". This goes back to the PIE "*p(e)lag- " meaning to make smooth. This is the same PIE root for the English "flat".
That makes sense doesn't it? I am much more willing to get a drink of water for my child when she says, "Can I have a cup of water, please?" than when she says, "Mom, get me some water." It's like magic and smooths the request over and makes it acceptable.
In order for the magic to work we must apply it and really mean it. The magic isn't really in the words themselves, but in the intentions of the person saying them. We are working on our manners here at home. King Derwin of Didd is an excellent example of how one can get caught up in himself and not realize how he affects the others around him. We all make mistakes. We are all learning. Let us therefore remember those fix-it-up words so that we don't end up stuck in oobleck forever.
4 comments:
I think you and I share the same problem. I have become well versed in apologies and nothing keeps me up more at night than realizing I've said something for whick I can't apologize for (like to a strager at a party).
We are still working on heart felt kindness at home too. Trying to get the kids to speak kindly not out of requirement but out of love.
I am sorry that you all aren't feeling well. It certainly is going around. My kids have all had coughs and more coughs this past week. We have been slathering on the Vicks Vapor Rub. I hope we are past it now.
I totally agree about the Please and Thank you. My kids get so much more out of me when they ask for things with please then if they just tell me they want something.
Oh so true! So true! There are a few words that mean so, so much.
I tend to screw up often, so, "I'm sorry," seems to be one of my most used phrases. Thanks heavens, "It's ok," almost always follows. :)
i am terrible at writing thank you notes, even though i think about it often and really, really feel grateful. i have been trying thank you phone calls and emails, but nothing beats getting a card in the mail.
i am really working on this with my kids. somehow, they are in the habit of making demands rather than polite requests. and it makes me irritable (and sometimes like the hulk:) and then we feed off of each others' negative energy.
even though i frequently lose my temper with my kids, i am at least good at apologizing to them and admitting that i shouldn't have lost my cool, even if they made a bad choice. hopefully that is teaching them something besides how to lose your temper!:)
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